For some reason, today, I am moved to tell my story. Maybe its the spirit leading me to share, so someone else can find comfort knowing some else is dealing with this too. I don't know why, but I'm telling my story.
I was born in 1991 with club feet. At only hours old my feet were placed in casts. Every three days my dad and mom would lovingly take the time to soak my feet and casts in warm water and the next day, we would return to the hospital for more casts to be put on. When I was about a year old, I had my first surgery and then wore two different types of braces to keep my feet facing forward. I learned to walk and crawl with them. I had another surgery a few years later and my final surgery around 4 years old. This surgery required casts up to my hips and I was in a wheel chair for a few weeks.
After all of this, I still remember growing up and feeling like a normal kid. I was able to run and play with my friends. I played soccer when I was young and just enjoyed life. I only ever remember having pain walking when I started to get older and I would be on my feet all day. In my teens, I would to to amusement parks, and I would have pain, but it was always manageable.
In the last few years, its gotten so much worse. My feet hurt a lot, my feet are stiff a lot, and it sucks, a lot. I find that if I go anywhere, and I am going to be on my feet for a significant amount of time, I have to be very careful about what shoes I wear. Going on trips or to amusement parks are some of my favorite things, but in the end, I'm almost crippled by the pain. By the end of a long day of walking, the pain is so intense the only thing you can think about is sitting, or sleeping; and sometimes that doesn't even dull the pain.
I was reading a blog earlier that said having club feet is both a motivator and de-motivator, and I completely resinated with that statement. I never want my feet to determine what I can or can not do. I've climbed mountains, I've walked for hours, I've worked in jobs where you stand or walk for hours. I am motivated to never let it slow me down. But then comes the day/s after of pain. I don't want to get out of bed simply because it will hurt as soon as my feet hit the floor.
One of the things that helps me has been to get orthopedic shoes and wear orthopedic inserts for arch support. But they don't completely alleviate the pain, they only help reduce it. It's still there and I don't think it will ever get better. I was reading a medical report done by orthopedic university students and it was fascinating. Basically, I am not alone, and there isn't much to be done. The report ended stating, "When interviewed, most patients reported the onset of consistent foot pain after they reached the age of twenty. ...this study shows that adults, surgically treated for CTEV as infants, present measurable differ- ences to age-matched controls. These seem to cause minimal restrictions on gait or other basic activities of daily living, but limitations are apparent, when enduranceis required and participation suffers, when higher level gross motor activities are attempted. Adults who have undergone clubfoot surgeries as infants were, mildly to moderately, functionally restricted owing to pain, ankle weakness, and reduced ROM at the ankle and within the foot." (See the full article here.)
Most days, I am thankful that at least I was born in a country that could provide me with the medical attention I needed and that I am able to walk, even with pain. Some people can't even say that. So I am thankful. But I am also discouraged today. I am only 24, and I have so much I want to do in my life, and knowing that this will always be a part of my life, is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. I believe God is bigger than all of this, and he has a plan for me in this, but most days, I just can't wait to get to heaven to experience a pain free existence. What a glorious day that will be. I the mean time, I learn to cope with this pain, and try to find things that can help alleviate it.
If you have club feet or a club foot, I'd love to her from you, and what helps you when you're in pain? Comment below!