Check back soon for info about my experience in Italy!
After 75 days, 10 and a half weeks, and a four week intensive German course, I FINALLY HAVE MY VISA!! I am so happy to know that everything is final and I am staying for the year. I feel like a new person. I feel like I can finally relax and just enjoy my time here instead of stressing about my Visa. And, making it even sweeter by celebrating today with Starbucks and buying some flowers. Sounds strange, right?! Well my whole life, my mom and Grandmothers always had flowers around. The houses were always teeming with flowers outside and inside. To me, it's comforting. Just one more thing to make my space feel more like my room. And to top off the celebrating, in just a few weeks, I'm heading to Italy! This is a dream come true and I am so excited to be in places that hold so much history. Bon voyage!
Check back soon for info about my experience in Italy!
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Thanks for your prayers and support. They mean so much to me. Here's a look at the past week.
Sunday, I began feeling anxious about my exam that I would take on Thursday. The only way I would be staying in Germany is if I passed this exam. I had begun studying a few days before, but I was nervous still. I went to church that evening, hoping for a chance to take my mind off things and worship. Worship started and I was pleased that it was one I knew well. I closed my eyes and began singing. The song was one that we sang often at my church in Michigan, so I was feeling very at home. I was even imagining standing in that sanctuary that I’ve stood is so many times, singing this very song. In that moment, I thought “This feels like home.” Before my human brain could think something else, I heard from the Lord, “This is home for a while. You will pass your test.” I know it was Him, because the response came too quickly. There is no way my brain would process something that fast. After those words were uttered in my ears, I began crying and a weight was lifted off my chest. I felt like I could breathe. The rest of the week was totally different. I had this confidence I hadn’t had with German before. I was confident that I would pass, because the Lord spoke to me. Thursday arrived, and to my surprise, I was calm and dependant on the Lord. Numerous times over the last few weeks, I have prayed and uttered the words, “Lord, if this isn’t what you have for me, that’s ok, I’ll go home. I don’t want to, but I will if You tell me to.” I was still saying those things, in an effort to try and handle all the emotions that could result as the outcome of the test was revealed. Thursday on my way to school I plugged in my headphones, needed the presence of the Holy Spirit on my mind. I listened to “You Make Me Brave” by Bethel Music, and “I am Not Alone” by Kari Jobe. If you need two songs to give you confidence, I’d choose those. I was confident in the Lord’s words to me and in my preparation for the exam. After the exam was another story. I was a mess. The speaking section of the exam didn’t go as well as I’d hoped and I was really worried I wouldn’t pass. The listening sections had also been more difficult than I had expected, and I was just unsure of the outcome. My classmates and I went to lunch to celebrate the end of the class. It was fun and I enjoyed being with them. All afternoon and evening, I was plagued by doubt and fear. I believed that the Lord had spoke to me, but I just didn’t believe that I had passed. I kept thinking, “what if I didn’t pass? Does that mean God didn’t speak to me?” And yet even as I would think those things, I believed that he had spoken to me. But I was worried what I would say to Him, if somehow I didn’t pass. My human mind just couldn’t commit to the idea that I had passed. I didn’t sleep well either, knowing I would find out the results the next morning. Friday morning, I got up and the wait began. At points, I felt like I was going to throw up. FINALLY, class began and she gave us our grades. And just as The Lord promised, I passed. When she said my grade, I exclaimed “I’m staying in Germany, ya’ll!!” Some of the people around me that knew passing would mean I got to stay, gave me high fives or big smiles from across the room. I guess the thing I learned this week, is even when the Lord speaks, and I honestly believe He has spoken to me, my human flesh will always fail and doubt His words. I honestly believe that He spoke to me, to give me the confidence I needed going into the test. I also think He hoped it would help calm me down after, and maybe it did some, I’ll never know. I’m just thankful the Lord chose to speak, and that I was able to hear His voice. Please continue to pray for me. On Monday I will head to the Visa office with my certificate of completion in the course, with the hopes that I will finally get my Visa. Honestly, if they decline me again, I don’t know if I will get the Visa. Pray that the woman would be gracious and that I can speak to her what little German I know to impress her. Below are links to the songs I shared above. “You Make Me Brave” by Bethel Music “I am Not Alone” by Kari Jobe This last week has flown by quickly, and I am sure that the one to come will also fly by. This coming week I begin my final week of class, and Thursday holds my exam. I am nervous, worried, and ready for it all to be over. No matter what the outcome, I just want it to be over. The test basically determines if I stay, or if I go back to the US. I'm not sure that I feel ready or even competent enough to take the exam, but I am pressing on. I do really want to stay, so I am working to try and do that. Learning a new language is just SO hard, and it takes so much work and practice and memorization. I did find out though that I only need at 60% to pass. I am fairly confident that I can do that, but its the speaking that makes me most nervous. I am trying to memorize and study sentences to make that part a little easier; I just hope it works. The AuPair across the street offered to help me study, so that will be good. I also need to memorize a few sentences for a note that we have to write. Its just lots of memorization and sometimes, I have a really hard time with it.
I remember being in middle school and having my mom help me study with flashcards. We would spend hours going over them until I got them all, or at least most of them. Thats how I feel now. Thankfully I am a decent test taker, although this feels like a whole new ball game. Please pray for me. Pray for my memory to be strong, pray for my studying to be fruitful and that I would know what I need to in order to pass the exam. I believe that God has brought me here for a reason, and I am believing that I will stay, although right now, nothing is set in stone. I have a few verses that I have put around my room as reminders that I am not alone and God is with me, so I'll leave you with those. I have been really enjoying my time in Stuttgart over the past few weeks. I have gotten more involved in my church, ICF, and I have made some friends. I also went to the first meeting for the Stuttgart International Club this weekend. It was fun and nice to meet many other internationals and make more friends. I had some great conversations with people from all over the globe. The Netherlands (Holland), France, Spain/Mexico/Canada, Ireland, and Georgia to name a few. I think ti will be a fun group and interesting to get to know people in the group. They also have AuPair nights, for just the Au Pairs in the group. They also offer support and counseling for Au Pairs that need it. It is nice to know that those options are out there if needed. I heard from the counselor that she has had a bunch of girls in her office over the past few weeks, who have come with a specific agency. It is not easy to be an Au Pair, but I am so thankful that I found my family in the states and moved here.
Something interesting that I learned though was there are not many American Au Pairs here. Most are from other EU (European Union) countries. And I found out why. People outside of the EU have to get a Visa, meaning they have to pass a language test. Anyone in the EU, doesn't need a Visa, and doesn't have to pass a language test to stay. Thus, not many Americans come because of the Visa and test. Also, I think that people can make more money as a Nanny in the US, so it makes more sense to stay in America. As you know, I haven't secured my visa yet. The past month has been good, but I fear that it is the calm before the storm. Starting tomorrow, I will be taking a four week, intensive German course, to catch-up so I can get my visa. I am excited and very nervous. I am excited because I feel like it is finally a chance to learn German and be able to speak it more and understand more, but I am nervous too. It will be exhausting, and a lot of work. I have class 8:45a-12:30p, M-F. Then I have to come home and do housework and then get the kids and be with them until their parents get home and then we have dinner and then I study. It will be a CRAZY four weeks, but I am sure that the time will fly and one its over, I won't have to do it again. Please pray for me as I begin this next week. I know that the Lord has brought me here for a reason, and I just need to trust in His timing and Process. Ultimately, I can see that this is probably better for me to learn the language, its just not fun or easy. Pray that I will receive rest as I need it and that I will be able to be diligent in my studies. I just keep reminding myself that my trip to Italy in November will be my treat for finishing and getting my Visa. The next four weeks will be a storm, but I am looking for the rainbow at the end. Since I have been in Germany for a month now, I thought I would share a little bit about some things that I wish I had known coming to Germany, in the hopes that future Au Pairs can learn from me and the experience I've had so far. I hope this will help you prepare for your experience and stay here in Germany. I don't think that some of these apply to everyone, but I want to share my personal experience. 1. Separating Work Time and Personal Time is hard When you live in the same place you work, it can be hard to separate work time and personal time. There are times when my host parents are home, but I am playing with the kids or watching a movie with them. Those times, are my personal time that I am choosing to be with them. But there is also an element of being a second parent. One Saturday, my day off, I was eating breakfast with the kids, while the mom was in the kitchen, and one of them was putting so much Nutella on their bread. I made a comment, but didn't stop him from putting it on, and later was told that I could and should step in in that situation. Sometimes you just don't know. For my family, they think of me as a second mom, so in those situations I should step in. So, now I know. Basically, if you want to have a clear separation, when you're not "on the clock", go out or go to your room, so you don't have to deal with sticky situations. 2. Don't mess with Visa Stuff You can take some time and read one of my previous posts about getting a Visa, but basically, don't mess around and do what they say to a T. German's tend to be a little more type A, so if they say have an A1 level of German, have it! Check out my post about Visa's here. 3. I'm More of a Maid and Housekeeper than a Nanny. The first month I was here, I spent almost everyday with the kids, because they were on summer vacation. Now they are back in school, and I am home alone, doing ungodly amounts of laundry and keeping up with the house. Everyone's family needs are different, but since both kids are in school, I help more around the house than some Au Pair's do. I am responsible to help cook dinner in the evenings, clean up after meals, start and unload the dishwasher, do laundry, keep the house picked up and go grocery shopping. Thankfully, I don't have heavy cleaning, since there is a cleaning lady who comes once a week, but I am still doing a lot. And, I also have to take and pick up the kids from school, and be with them when they get home. So I am looking at this year as an opportunity to see what it is like to be a housewife. Here is a list of a few things that I forgot, or didn't think of brining that I wish I had:
Those are some of my tips and things that I have learned so far. Thanks for reading. Check back soon for more posts and a video tour of my house! |
AuthorMy name is Lindsey. I graduated from Eastern Michigan University with a degree in Early Childhood Education in 2015 and moved to Germany as an Au Pair for a year! I love my Savior and my relationship with Him is most important. I also love traveling. I have been to the UK and Ireland, South Korea, China, Bosnia, Montenegro, and now Germany, Italy, Austria and France. I started this blog to chronicle my life as an Au Pair in Germany and my European Travels. My hope is that future Au Pairs would find my blog helpful and informative as they decide if they would like to be an Au Pair. Lindsey's Instagram:
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